So Much To Say

Every time I have thoughts I want to put on here, I don't have the time to sit down. So much has happened since the beginning of this year to change my daily life and even though most days have not been the easiest, I am blessed beyond anything I could have imagined in so many ways. When things are not easy or going our way, it is sometimes difficult to see the good or remember to say what is good at that time. I have always been a positive person, tried to look for the good in others and see the silver lining of a situation, but since I got sick, I have had days where I don't feel like things will ever be back to "normal". I am not going into all of the specifics of what's been going on healthwise in this post (I'll do that later), but it has changed how I have to do so many things. It has made me appreciate the little things we do on a daily basis and how much energy I had before. I will not give up until I feel much better, no matter what it takes.

Through it all, the Lord has continued to show me so many things that I had been overlooking and has made me take pause. That is not something I do very well...I mean, I love to relax on the beach or get a pedicure or massage when I get the chance, but usually, I am going non-stop. I truly feel like God has used this illness to make me slow down and see the important things. We sometimes get so busy doing all of the things we feel we're supposed to, that we miss sight of really "living". The many thoughts that I've had for the past 5 months have taken me to some dark places and thinking of being in the hospital away from my son or worse, just makes me want to bottle up every minute I have with him. I look back at pictures, through all of the stages of his life, and it is at times difficult to remember every little thing because they grow so fast.

I want to freeze my time with him and soak up every smile, every laugh, every funny thing he says...so even though I love reading others' blogs...even though writing is my passion...even though I've thought it was too much information to share with anyone who chooses to read it...I am not going to fight it any longer. I want to look back one day and remember all of the good and the bad that makes my memories and cherish it all. I am envious of the people who document everything and I really want to make the effort to pause each week, reflect on what I'm thankful for and remember all of the little things that make my family mine.

I am thankful today for all of the people who have sent good thoughts and many prayers my way...it means more than you'll ever know!

Much Love!