Our Strength-Through the Eyes of a Child

Well, I thought it appropriate to post something on the one year anniversary of my last entry. I thought I would jump into blogging and never look back, but the last year has been nothing I ever expected. I will get into more of that later. I have so much I'm going to post asap, but wanted something for today.
My sweet boy & I were singing in the kitchen a few days ago and started singing "Jesus Loves Me". We were talking about the words and I told him that when it says "they are weak, but He is strong", that it does not mean that children are weak; just that all of us are weak without the strength of Jesus to help us. He said, "I'm glad that Jesus is in Heaven watching over us, because if we didn't have Jesus, we'd all be as weak as an old rock." I smiled at his analogy (thinking to myself that he could have chosen anything to compare to & thought it was interesting that he chose a rock) and told him he was so right.
I thought more about it later and realized just how right he was! Old rocks crumble under pressure, break into a million pieces and can't be put back together to be strong again. We are so like this without the Lord to lean on. I know my strength has been tested so much during all of this illness and at times, I've wanted to just fall to pieces. But, the Lord has spoken to me in ways I've never experienced before and has given me the strength to get up each day and fight to find some good in every day.
Children can see things so perfectly in their simple, innocent, untarnished ways and show us what really matters. They can see the beauty in something so ordinary...the joy in something so simple...love so fully...forgive so quickly...and give an analogy so perfect, that it just hits home. I am so thankful that I am reminded every day, how easy life can be if we just try to live it through the eyes of a child.
Much Love & Laughter...

Country Roads, Take Me Home

It is late and I am beyond worn out, but I wanted to write a quick post before I hit the hay. We just got in from our extremely long day at Vanderbilt, picked up my sweet boy (I could not stand it-had to see his sweet face and get big hugs & kisses!) and came home to the most Momma-loving pup there ever was! We are all spent, but I'm glad it is behind me.
My mind was racing all night and I only slept 2 hours. Add that to the fact that I did not get any food until 8:00 P.M. Nooga time and no drink until about 4:00 P.M. (ET), let's just say I was hanging on by a thread!!

The people who took care of me at Vanderbilt were super nice and everything went pretty smoothly. It took way longer than I had anticipated, but it was a long time coming, so I guess the wait was worth it. I found out a whole bunch of new information and so much is still up in the air, but I do have hope that with all of my research and a new group of people trying to help me, that I will slowly, but surely work my way back. I definitely know that I will never give up; that is not an option!

Although I have been sick for almost 7 months, this is still the beginning of a long road ahead, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get back to feeling like "me" again! I have many more tests to take and have to go back to Vandy in about a month, but if it gets me one step closer to some relief, that's what we shall do!

As we started to leave Nashville tonight, I started singing some good ole John Denver, because it only takes a little road trip away, to make me appreciate home. :)

Well, my two men are sacked out and my four-legged man just threw up from drinking and eating to fast to make up for lost time today, so as they say...a Momma's work is never done! LOL!! He seems to always manage to make it all the way across the tile floor to throw up on the carpet...how do those things happen??? That's why I want my hardwood floors!!! Oh well, I just feel blessed tonight to be here in my home and not lying in a hospital bed, so clean up the puke, I will and then I'm climbing in my comfy bed, for some much needed rest.

I am thankful for all of the wonderful family and friends who are so diligent to pray for me and my family and for God's amazing way he carries us through. He even answers the tiniest of prayers, even when we don't deserve it.

I'll sign off with this wonderful quotation, from a sweet gift my Mom gave me for Mother's Day...

"It is not because things are good that we are to thank the Lord, but because He is good." -Hannah Whitall Smith

So Much To Say

Every time I have thoughts I want to put on here, I don't have the time to sit down. So much has happened since the beginning of this year to change my daily life and even though most days have not been the easiest, I am blessed beyond anything I could have imagined in so many ways. When things are not easy or going our way, it is sometimes difficult to see the good or remember to say what is good at that time. I have always been a positive person, tried to look for the good in others and see the silver lining of a situation, but since I got sick, I have had days where I don't feel like things will ever be back to "normal". I am not going into all of the specifics of what's been going on healthwise in this post (I'll do that later), but it has changed how I have to do so many things. It has made me appreciate the little things we do on a daily basis and how much energy I had before. I will not give up until I feel much better, no matter what it takes.

Through it all, the Lord has continued to show me so many things that I had been overlooking and has made me take pause. That is not something I do very well...I mean, I love to relax on the beach or get a pedicure or massage when I get the chance, but usually, I am going non-stop. I truly feel like God has used this illness to make me slow down and see the important things. We sometimes get so busy doing all of the things we feel we're supposed to, that we miss sight of really "living". The many thoughts that I've had for the past 5 months have taken me to some dark places and thinking of being in the hospital away from my son or worse, just makes me want to bottle up every minute I have with him. I look back at pictures, through all of the stages of his life, and it is at times difficult to remember every little thing because they grow so fast.

I want to freeze my time with him and soak up every smile, every laugh, every funny thing he says...so even though I love reading others' blogs...even though writing is my passion...even though I've thought it was too much information to share with anyone who chooses to read it...I am not going to fight it any longer. I want to look back one day and remember all of the good and the bad that makes my memories and cherish it all. I am envious of the people who document everything and I really want to make the effort to pause each week, reflect on what I'm thankful for and remember all of the little things that make my family mine.

I am thankful today for all of the people who have sent good thoughts and many prayers my way...it means more than you'll ever know!

Much Love!

Working at it!

I am working on my first real post. It is just time consuming and having uninterrupted time with a just turned 5 year old, is very rare!! I was inspired by a wonderful mother, who I am so glad to call my friend, to do a list of 100 things that I love and it really makes you stop to think. Some things are obvious and come easily, but when you stop to breathe for a little while and reflect, it takes your mind to many places. It makes you think of the little things that we take for granted and what we need to appreciate more. I am listening to the light of my life, serenading me and using his wonderful imagination. My time with him makes me smile. Even though it is "brrrr-city cold" outside (that's what we call it), at least Mr. Sun was able to peek through the clouds and brighten our day!

Welcome to my world

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